the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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