I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
