cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
