Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
