Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
