They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
