question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
