I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
