I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
