i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
