Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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