I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
