Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
