So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
