You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
