would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
