My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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