I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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