she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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