I feel like I'm in dance class right now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
