next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
