Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
