look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
