I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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