I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
