Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
