I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
