foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
