Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
