I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
