Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you didnt know i had herpes?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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