He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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