dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
