I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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