maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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