dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
