if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I smell like Dick and happiness
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