She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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