Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Say something about gay babies.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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