could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
