ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
