THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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