Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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