I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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