I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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