It's Friday. Sex?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
