i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
