Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
