But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
