Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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