remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
