capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
