i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
